The Murderer and his Assistant

A play by Arthur Shemitz, age 6

Act 1

Scene 1 (in detective office)

    Enter Brave Detective.

    Brave Detective: "If only I had another mystery!"

    Enter murderer disguised as Guy.

    Guy: "I have a mystery for you."

    Enter Detective's Assistant.

    Detective's Assistant: "Oh great, not another one of these mysteries!"

    Brave Detective: "My brave assistant, isn't that why we're here? To solve mysteries?"

    Detective's Assistant: "Well yeah, but I just say that we should beat our records of seeing cats in a day first."

    Brave Detective: "You mean you want to take a break from being my assistant?"

    Detective's Assistant: "Of course not! Do you think I'm dumb?"

    Guy: "Are you going to take the mystery or not?"

    Brave Detective: (looks at him) "If I can get my assistant to help."

    Detective's Assistant: "Oh all right."

    Exit all.

Scene 2 "The two assistants" (In the murderer's office)

    Enter Murderer's Assistant on tiptoes.

    Enter Detective's Assistant behind him (Murderer's Assistant doesn't see her). Detective's Assistant exits.

    Murderer's Assistant: "I need to join the great master soon."

    Exit Murderer's Assistant.


Act 2

Scene 1 (outside)

    Enter Murderer, Murderer's Assistant, Brave Detective and Detective's Assistant.

    Brave Detective: "Stop, do you hear something?" (offstage we hear meowing)

    Enter Cat 1.

    Detective's Assistant: "How cute!" (bends down and pets Cat 1, Cat 1 purrs)

    Cat 1: "It's really easy to beat the record, you know."

    Detective's Assistant: (jumps back) "Excuse me, did you just talk?"

    Cat 1: "I certainly did! Haven't you fools ever heard of a talking cat?"

    Detective's Assistant: "Well, we must be going."

    Cat 1: "I will accompany you."

    Detective's Assistant: "Thank you."

    Exit all.

Scene 2 (in the Murderer's office)

    Brave Detective: "I don't see anyone else around here."

    Murderer's Assistant: "Well I presume you wouldn't considering there is nobody else around here."

    Detective's Assistant: "What do you mean?"

    Murderer: "My assistant is right." (pulls off disguise)

    Detective's Assistant: "You!"

    Brave Detective: "You! I've seen you -- you're wanted in every single universe!"

    Cat 1 lunges at Murderer.

    Murderer: "All right, all right, I surrender."

    Brave Detective: "Ha ha, you can't try another one of those tricks."

    Murderer's Assistant jumps on Detective's Assistant, Detective's Assistant throws him off.

    Detective's Assistant: "It is rude to attack a lady."

    Brave Detective pulls rope out of pocket. Murderer lunges at her. Detective's Assistant and Cat 1 lunge at Murderer. In the big fight, Brave Detective manages to tie up Murderer.

    Murderer's Assistant: "I surrender!"

    Exit all.


The End

Copyright © 2001 Arthur Shemitz
Written April 17, 2001
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