The Murderer and his Assistant
A play by Arthur Shemitz, age 6
Scene 1 (in detective office)
Enter Brave Detective.
Brave Detective: "If only I had another mystery!"
Enter murderer disguised as Guy.
Guy: "I have a mystery for you."
Enter Detective's Assistant.
Detective's Assistant: "Oh great, not another one of these mysteries!"
Brave Detective: "My brave assistant, isn't that why we're here? To solve mysteries?"
Detective's Assistant: "Well yeah, but I just say that we should beat our records of seeing cats in a day first."
Brave Detective: "You mean you want to take a break from being my assistant?"
Detective's Assistant: "Of course not! Do you think I'm dumb?"
Guy: "Are you going to take the mystery or not?"
Brave Detective: (looks at him) "If I can get my assistant to help."
Detective's Assistant: "Oh all right."
Scene 2 "The two assistants" (In the murderer's office)
Enter Murderer's Assistant on tiptoes.
Enter Detective's Assistant behind him (Murderer's Assistant doesn't see her). Detective's Assistant exits.
Murderer's Assistant: "I need to join the great master soon."
Exit Murderer's Assistant.
Scene 1 (outside)
Enter Murderer, Murderer's Assistant, Brave Detective and Detective's Assistant.
Brave Detective: "Stop, do you hear something?" (offstage we hear meowing)
Enter Cat 1.
Detective's Assistant: "How cute!" (bends down and pets Cat 1, Cat 1 purrs)
Cat 1: "It's really easy to beat the record, you know."
Detective's Assistant: (jumps back) "Excuse me, did you just talk?"
Cat 1: "I certainly did! Haven't you fools ever heard of a talking cat?"
Detective's Assistant: "Well, we must be going."
Cat 1: "I will accompany you."
Detective's Assistant: "Thank you."
Scene 2 (in the Murderer's office)
Brave Detective: "I don't see anyone else around here."
Murderer's Assistant: "Well I presume you wouldn't considering there is nobody else around here."
Detective's Assistant: "What do you mean?"
Murderer: "My assistant is right." (pulls off disguise)
Detective's Assistant: "You!"
Brave Detective: "You! I've seen you -- you're wanted in every single universe!"
Cat 1 lunges at Murderer.
Murderer: "All right, all right, I surrender."
Brave Detective: "Ha ha, you can't try another one of those tricks."
Murderer's Assistant jumps on Detective's Assistant, Detective's Assistant throws him off.
Detective's Assistant: "It is rude to attack a lady."
Brave Detective pulls rope out of pocket. Murderer lunges at her. Detective's Assistant and Cat 1 lunge at Murderer. In the big fight, Brave Detective manages to tie up Murderer.
Murderer's Assistant: "I surrender!"
The EndCopyright © 2001 Arthur Shemitz
Written April 17, 2001
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