by Sam Shemitz, age five
One ant was trying to get some food for their nest. When it was halfway through, it saw a spider walking near. It said, "Uh Oh!" It ran away. The ant ran away, but the spider ran after it, as fast as a windy day.
Two ants had a concert one morning. They had a delicious meal of soup and toasted rye bread. In the end they danced and sang: "Spider wasp lives way up high, spider wasp lives way up in the sky. It's very friendly to the crowds, because they wave and wave and bow. He loves them sweet, he loves them bad, everyone is sometimes mad. When it's nighttime the moon and stars, up in the clouds and up in Mars. Twinkle twinkle, little star. How I love you, how you are. Wink twink wink twink twinka twinka winka."
Three ants ... they were so sleepy that they flopped over on their bed made of cushions.
Four ants were in a castle. They were amazed that there were real talking green plants and they fell down the steps. And when they got up they were covered with oil.
Five ants were drawing in KidPix. They drew a picture of an icon for KidPix! And the KidPix real icon was a purple thing that had a K! And this was for KidPix!
Six ants were so hungry they ate a whole piece of toast! Every one didn't share with another. In fact, every one ate five pieces, with no one sharing the other one's pieces. Then they had a fight to see who was better at eating their piece of toast.
Seven ants fell asleep so soon that they fainted.
Eight ants were just singing a song: "Winka twinka twinka, twinka winka wink. Twinka winka winka, winka twinka winka. Oh that, my hat, and bump my bat. He is a bat, and he lives in a hat, in the corner of my garden. Oh twinka winka, winka twink winka, twinka twinka twink wink wink twinka, wink wink twinka." Rejoice the loving ants.
Nine ants ... they are white and blue and white and black. And they can sleep in their whack bed. They were blue and black and red and white, because they were a bumble bite. Because they had bites on their arms, and they had rubber bands all on their doorbells.
Ten ants' story is all messed up. Please go to next ant.
Eleven ants ... one of them has a name ... its name is Trashhead Ant. Trashhead Ant of course is an ant that has a head full of trash. And he has a tail. And he has a hole in his tail. And he carries his brain in a good safety box. And he can put his brain in that hole.
Twelve ants ... mama ant of course was a queen ant. It was time for the queen of the ants to grow 15 years old. And she will be the best player of Parcheesi yet. She can even play with nobody helping her. She can even play with nobody else but her. She can even play faster than ever. She can play so fast that no ants can tell if it's their turn.
Thirteen ants were on a trip. They loved the airplane. It was so comfortable that they fell asleep the whole time they were going on their trip. When they woke up, they were still flying. When they at last came down, it was already the next day. They met Grandma and Grandpa at the airport.
Fourteen ants were playing a game. It was called "Back to the Farm." Each ant except the fourteenth had all their dark yellows, and all the greens, and one blue. The fourteenth ant only had her dark yellows.
Fifteen ants came out of their hole. They were all black except one, who was yellow. Inside a house, they took it over. And in the lawn, they conquered red ants.
Sixteen ants are having their Christmas night. They decorated their tree with bells, and if Santa sat on the tree, there would be a cushion under him that would make a farting sound.
Copyright © 1994 Samuel Dashiell Shemitz
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