Well I hear you want a ratin',
of that series of games of Catan.
They all take place on an island or more,
in Seafarers there can be more islands than four!
In some games the Sea plays a big role
and without it the board wouldn't be whole!
In others it is less useful then air,
and the Ports are the things that need to be there!
The Desert is the place that the Robber hangs out,
if someone rolls a seven then they give him a shout.
He runs onto a hex that is at least a bit developed,
and after that the aforementioned hex in robbery is enveloped.
Although in most games the robber is where it ends,
in Cities and Knights you meet the Barbarians, his friends.
If you are short on knights they will wreck and pillage,
going for cities instead of an ordinary village.
I knew a lady knight on Catan once and not a thing could stop her,
I won't even TRY to count the number of times she repulsed the robber!
But at last she met her end from something way out of her league,
she was sent away by the blue progress card, Intrigue.
Cataners build a lumber boat and put some sheep aboard,
then sail away to a new island to start a settlement hoard.
They then call it a trade route with no trade goods aboard the ship,
and the whole thing goes Ka-plooie if just one of the sails rip.
If a seven is rolled and you have more then seven cards,
unless you have a city wall you take it pretty hards!
With a city wall for resources nine cards is your limit,
and if you don't build one instantly you're nothing but a dimwit!
The yellow gates are Metropolises, the McDonalds of Catan,
and if you ever get a Metropolis, well, it is fate, then.
They are worth two victory points and are stealable at first,
but if you have a red 6 you're so happy you could burst!
Trade goods are those extra things you get from wood, sheep and ore,
but they are only in Cities and Knights, none of the games before.
They let you get an aqueduct that gets your resources all wet,
and they are worth their while, at least that's what I'll bet!
I could go on much longer but we're running out of room,
I think I should end this song with Little Cat Z's VOOM!
And the question was if we should buy any games of Catan,
well I'm not sure, we should decide, let's get down to debating!
Copyright © 2000 Samuel Dashiell Shemitz
Written August 16, 2000
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