(The 'The Fine Castle' title graphic)

Once there were five knights. Their names were Oodoo, Ohgo, Ahgee, Itch, and Eeky. They were looking for a home castle.

They were riding on a path, and suddenly it went right and left. They ordered three knights to go left, and two knights to go right.

The ones that went right found a machine, that made dust in the air that turned into fireballs. They ran away, of course! The horses went so fast, that the riders fell off and lay sprawling on the grass.

Suddenly from the ground there was a gaping hole. They stumbled down a ramp into the hole. When they landed, they were in a dark place, with no lamps.

"Who are you, and where do you came from?" came a booming voice from the roof of the passage.

"Our names are Itch and Eeky."

"And, where do you come from?" said the voice, again.

"We come from ... sort of nowhere. We're looking for a home. Will you show us the way to any castles that might be good homes for knights?

"No, I will trap you in my domains, and never let you escape."

"No", said the knights, and they took a fireball and threw it up to the roof, so it burned up the monster so he was gone. They climbed up the hole and up the ramp and out.

"We're not going to go there any more" they said, as they caught the horses that were running full speed. They clambered upon the horses and rode after the other three knights.

They had a hard time catching up with them, because there were hills that made it a much slower journey. When they at last caught up, the three knights' horses were galloping at full speed themselves.

Suddenly all the horses slid down a ramp that went 'round and 'round! Before they had time to pick up the horses, a nice breeze picked them up and they were flying around through the air.

Suddenly, they landed on a plain of grass. There, the path was still there. They walked on it until it went five different ways. One they could see stopped at a river, but then started again on the other side.

The horses just jumped right over the gap. They could see easily enough that the river that they thought was a river was not a river but a moat. On the other side was the most enormous castle that you have ever seen. For that matter, you've probably never seen a castle before. (Except in Disneyland!) But, let's get on with the adventure.

They rode right into it. It was only something that looked like a castle, not a real castle. It was a tunnel that the river went into! The horses only stumbled off the path and into the river and were floating, and then floated right up a waterfall.

Suddenly, they jumped onto the path again, because there it stopped and the path started. Suddenly the path went half around a mountain. Suddenly, there was a door in the mountain.

They went though the door. It was open, of course. The horses couldn't see, and neither could the knights. They rode in the tunnel, and bumped into the wall a lot. Suddenly, the horses went down and carried the knights with them. Suddenly, they landed, and went on through the tunnel.

"We're underground now", they said. They bumped into the wall more, even if they were now getting used to the darkness.

Now they could actually see. They saw that they were in a corridor that was very long. It had two thrones that were empty. One said "Queen's Throne" and one said "King's Throne". "We're in a castle", they said, "it's amazing we didn't see before, 'cause then we probably would have seen that we were crossing a drawbridge."

Suddenly the thrones disappeared, and in their place stood some laughing griffins. They stood there in front and challenged them to a battle.

For a while, the air was full of flying swords and rattlings and crashings. Finally, under the griffins' feet was a gaping hole. They fell through; the ground was there again; and they were gone.

The knights walked over where they were. Under their feet, they could hear some bangings and slashings. "Thank goodness we got rid of them" they said.

Where the griffins had been when they first saw them the thrones were there again. They walked on and on, and finally came out of the hill again, into the clear air. On the ground daisies and poppies were dotted all over. And birds flying in the bushes and the sky were singing the loveliest song you ever heard.

"We're glad we're out of that castle, or maybe hill, not sure which" said the knights. "At least, it was pretty scary - scarier than seeing yourself fall into your own blood."

"Much scarier than that" said the other knights!

"I'm glad that we met again", they also said.

Then they saw a castle that had flags that had lions on them. And towering domes and pillars. "Wow, that's the most exciting castle I've ever seen" said the knights.

Out of it, pranced five knights that were red. (The ones the story is about were gray.) They walked in the castle, and lived happily ever after. The gray knights and the red knights.

*The End*


Copyright © 1993 Samuel Dashiell Shemitz
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