Pirate Wars

Cast of characters Armada Trick The Mall
Mr. Jo Lly Roger ( Better known as Joe.)
Captain Silver Ar Mour
Sir Double Dag Gers
First mate Red Blu Estripe
Second mate Dagg Erv Est
Third mate Davy Jon Es
The Blue brothers, B. L. And Ue
Sailor Cross
Sailor Bow
Arc Her Arrow
Red Trai Tor
Dig Ger
Chief Bat Tle Plume
Guitar man Bad Mu Sic
Mr. Will Youdie (Better known as Will.)
And the wacky Islanders


"Yes Red?"

"A prisoner from the Armada Flagship."

"Bring him in."

Double was brought in, restrained by Dig and Vest.

"Tell me," said Bat Tle, "Tell me your plans!"

"I'd rather die!" shouted Double.

"That can be arranged," said Bat.

"Well, maybe, what do you want to know?"

"Your next moves."

"No! No! No!"

"Put him in jail to cool off."

* * *



"Double has been captured!"

"What!? Prepare my rowboat."


Off paddled Silver to the pirate island. "Halt! Who goes there?" called the pirate guarding the dock.

"Mercenary!" called Silver.


Silver sighed with relief -- a stupid guard. Silver made his way to the jail, he hailed a guard, "Ahoy there! Bad luck today matey?"

The pirate jumped, saw Silver's pirate uniform, and replied cheerfuly, "Nope! I'm guarding an Armada, says he's called Double."

"Oh! I just remembered, I'm supposed to interrogate him. Chief's orders."


Silver went into the jail. "Psst! Double! Is that you?"


"Shhhh! Yes, come here."

"O.K. Here I am, what's up?"

"This jail, soon. Hide in that corner."


Silver planted a stick of dynamite in the other corner and left. Trraaaggrrooommm!!!!! The jail burst and Double climbed out.

* * *


"Yes, Will?"

"Silver's gone. There's nothing left to stop you from operation Cyclops."

"Good, Will my spy."

* * *

The Armada Joe climbed on to the deck of the Armada Flagship. "Fellow Armadas!"


"Silver has deserted you!"

"What?! How do you know?"

"Will overheard Silver sneaking into a rowboat, saying 'I'm going to join the pirates!'"

Trick used her ventriloquist powers to make it sound like Will said "No! He never!"

Joe turned angrily at Will. "You liar!"

"I didn't say it!"

"I heard you, lying scum!"

"I didn't say ... Owch!!!"

Joe and Will were locked together in combat.

"Take that! Wave Rat!"

"You drink Rum! Wave Scum!"

In the end Joe was out (covered in cuts and bruises), and Will had won (with bruises all over and a bloody nose).

"I'm ... Ow!" An arrow pierced Will's shoulder.

"Who are you?" called Trick.

"Crooossss aannnndddd Bboooowwwww."

"I don't care if you've got a Crossbow!"

"Oooouuurrr nnaaammesss...."

"We're not the same!"

"Wwweee''rrreee ttelliinnngg yyoouuuu oouurr nnaaammeeesss....."

"Would you show yourself!?"

2 ghosts flew onto the ship.

* * *


"Double! There you are!"

"Ouch. Yes."

"You're alive!"

"Yes. Here, look what I found." Double handed Silver a huge silver sword.

Silver looked up and saw 4 Pirates floating in the air; suddenly they fell down among Silver and Double.

"Ya! Take that, Pirate!"

Whack! "Be careful of my chin, Silver!"

"Arrr! Die traitors!"

"Hiiyahh!" "Wahhoo!" "Eugh ..."

The 4 Pirates were dead or unconscious. "Well! That's that."

"I agree, let's go to the ship."

* * *

When Silver and Double got on to the ship they saw an unusual sight: Armadas were fighting in a big group, while ghosts were shooting arrows into the fray.

"Unh! Unh! Eeehuh!" "Ow!" "Ouch!" "Tok!" "Tok!" "Ungh!" "Eligh ..."

"Stop this at once!"

The Armadas and the ghosts looked up to see Silver brandishing a huge sword with Double standing behind him.

"Uh ... just exercising ..."

"Who's he?"

"Captain Silver Ar Mour ..."

"Spare us!!"

"It's more then you deserve."


"No! Please ... Urk!"

* * *


"Yes Red?"

"B L and Ue are dead."


"And Davy Jon Es is unconscious."


"He's mumbling about a huge sword."


"B L and Ue are dead, Davy's unconscious, and he's mumbling about a sword."

"That's what I thought you said. ^%^&$^%$*^!!!"


* * *

Silver had gotten the Armadas under control. "Now, WHAT were you doing?"

"Joe said you were a traitor."

"Ghosts flew on."

"Is this true?"


"I said, Is This True!?"

"Yes ..."

"That's better, where are the ghosts?"



"Vanished ..."

* * *

In Hidden Cove:

"Osk! Osk ejrtr str upi?"


"Drohr! Drohr!"


On the Armada Flagship:

"What do you mean?"

"Vanished ..."


"I doUrk!"
Tok! Tok! Tok!

Five arrows flew into the Armadas.
"Who's doing ..."
"... this?"
Tok! Tok! Tok!
"Bleah.. Urk.. Ungh.."
"Ugh ..."

Silver turned to see 20 Pirate archers.

Tok! Tok Tok Tok! Tok!
"Unuhh ..."
Chok! Tok!
"Urk ..."
"Quick Armada! Fight back!"
"Yaa! Take that scum!"
"Blah ..."
"Ugh ..."
"Great slice, Double!"
Tok Tok!
"Bleah ..."
"Keep up the good work!"

Back at Hidden Cove:

"Yjrtr jsd nrrm s drohr!"

"Syysvl nsvl!"


And on the ship:


Will the Armadas win?

What are the Islanders saying?

These and other questions will be answered in the next installment of ... Pirate Wars ...

Copyright © 1998 Samuel Dashiell Shemitz
Last updated 2/13/98
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