Sam's first 50 tips for parents

Sam wrote this (at the age of seven) for the TCS mailing list after reading the post "Lulie's tips for parents", and he also wanted other people to read it, so I'm putting it on the web for him.

Sam says: These are all Sam's tips. You don't have to obey them. These things work very well with my family. You may have differences in your family with having some of these things in these tips not be liked, and having some things that you know about be liked more with your family. Also, please don't send a reply which is laughing about number 6.

  1. If there is a certain game, that your child/children like, but aren't very good at, they may play better if you offer them a prize of something they really like.
  2. It is bad to force your children to eat things that they don't like.
  3. Try to help your children (and babies) find friends.
  4. Make sure that they know you love them.
  5. Your children may like to be flossed more if the floss is fancy, like sword floss.
  6. Toothpaste is yucky.
  7. Buy your children good games (such as "Quarto" and "Lord of the Rings").
  8. You shouldn't force your children to not eat candy -- it's all right for them to eat some, but make sure they don't eat nothing but candy.
  9. If they like, take your children/child to playgrounds.
  10. Do not get mad if your child wants to stay in the bath. Baths are fun.
  11. Do not put the water up too high when babies are in the bathtub.
  12. If you're giving your baby a diaper change in the bathroom, you may get them to stand up for a while by putting a toy they like on the toilet seat.
  13. Watch out for babies throwing things like books into the bathtub while their brother/sister is taking a bath.
  14. Do not be surprised if your children/child wants water balloons in her/his bath.
  15. Buy your children bath toys like squirting whales. (Try not to get squirted.)
  16. Do not have both the parents of your child be sleeping while your child is in a bath. Your child may drown.
  17. Buy your children good drinks such as Snapples.
  18. Cure diseases such as headlice as fast as possible.
  19. For babies to grow up well you should be very kind to them.
  20. Go out with your children on Halloween.
  21. Pat your baby on the back and a burp may come out.
  22. If you want your child to go to sleep at a certain time, you should be very kind trying to get them to. You should not yell at them because they won't.
  23. Teach your babies to do fun things such as giving you high-fives.
  24. Your baby may like to ride on your shoulders (try it).
  25. Do not get mad at babies for flipping pages when you're reading a book to them.
  26. Your baby may like to walk/crawl after bouncing super balls.
  27. Play roll-ball with your baby. (For more information about playing games with your baby, look at Sam's games for playing with Arthur.
  28. Do not think of your children as toys.
  29. Instead of throwing away toys that your baby gets bored of, keep it safe for a long time and then bring it out again. Your baby should not recognize the toy and should think of it as a new one.
  30. Don't just do what #29 says -- also buy your children new toys!
  31. Find out what your child's favorite toy is.
  32. Have your children get acquainted with animals very early in their lives, but not too early (cats would be a very good starter).
  33. A very nice food for babies is sweet potatoes (yams). Applesauce isn't a bad food to start babies with.
  34. Find your baby's ticklish spot. Later tickling him/her there may cheer him/her up.
  35. Be silly with your child/children.
  36. Your baby may like to have a tongue sticked out at him/her.
  37. Get your babies/baby/child/children good books.
  38. Tell your children silly math facts such as the one about 2+2 and 2*2.
  39. Your child/children/baby/babies may learn to read if you point to words and say what they are. Before this, point to pictures and tell them what they are.
  40. Good starting numbers for your children to learn would be something like 1 to 3.
  41. The number this sentence is on is not my lucky number.
  42. Watch your tongue with your children. (Try to be nice to them.)
  43. Do not floss and brush your children very much unless they like it.
  44. "Fox in Socks" is a dangerous book to give to your children (this is why it's dangerous: "New socks, two socks. Whose socks, Sue's socks. Who sews whose new socks, sir? Sue sews Sue's new socks, Sir").
  45. Tell your children an interesting fact about the name "Jason." (If you don't know it, think of the order of the months.)
  46. Be kind to your neighbors. If you have problems with any of your neighbors, try to talk them out of it sweetly.
  47. Dyeing your hair may attract a lot of attention. (This does not mean killing your hair.)
  48. Do not punish your baby for getting shit on your hands.
  49. Babies do not know that whacking people is wrong, so don't punish your baby if he/she whacks you a lot, he/she is just playing. You have to understand this with cats too.
  50. (Number 6 is not a tip.)
  51. Don't slam the door too hard 'cause it might make your children jump (in other words, it might scare them).
  52. Not dyeing your hair should not attract as much attention.


Copyright © 1996 Samuel Dashiell Shemitz
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