Silly NN (Neverfailing Nine) Stories, book 1


Table of Contents

    Part 1:

      Chapter 1: Explanation
      Chapter 2: Start of Events
      Chapter 3: Continuing the Events

    Part 2: How Spidergod came to be

      Chapter 1: Explanation
      Chapter 2: Spidergod's Appearance
      Chapter 3: Bazz

    Part 3: Grassglider

      Chapter 1: Explanation
      Chapter 2: Birth
      Chapter 3: Ring Around the Mansion, Pockets Full of Toys

    Part 4: Greel

      Chapter 1: Explanation
      Chapter 2: Expedition
      Chapter 3: Grand Discoverer


Chapter 1: Explanation

This chapter is about what you will read about. To begin with, you'll be reading about a group called "Neverfailing Nine", which is what "NN" stands for. This group is made out of:
A fantastic crab who can sense danger for him or almost any of his teammates, and can also sense other things easily. He can also phase through the ground.

A flying goddess called "Venus" (pronounced VEEN-is) who can make a big whirlwind if she flaps her wings hard enough, reflects shots by bouncing them off her hand, and has an excellent mouth for talking.

An amazing grasshopper who can control the weather and phase through the ground.

A powerhouse called "Powerhouse." Powerhouse's powers? I can hardly explain them.

A robot called "Squiggle," much like Powerhouse because I can hardly explain his powers, except that he can telepath with other things that can telepath, usually.

A shrimp called "Super-Shrimpcrawler." I won't even explain his powers -- it would take too long to explain the whole thing, unless I dropped some.

Some other heroes who will occasionally drop into their team. And a lot of other stuff.

Explanation part two: In this you will be reading about this wonderful, amazing fantastic group who go around trying to defeat the villains, sometimes with success, and sometimes not. They're also clever, especially Friendly the crab. As you explore the life of being a superhero and of being bothered all the time by villains such as a lightning-shooting face called "Electro" and a pillowcase full of shots called "Pillowcase" .
And I think it's end of explanation time and time to get into the actual story.


Chapter 2: Start of Events

Once upon a planet, Aroree , one of the teammates I didn't mention or explain her powers, was sitting upside-down on her head, while Grass the grasshopper was testing their new fart machine. Energyman had to cover his nose, and Powerhouse just (with his powers) stopped breathing through his nose and started with his mouth.

As soon as the fart machine was turned off, Energyman uncovered his nose, Powerhouse started breathing through his nose again, Grass said "whew!", Energyman said "ahhh!" and Powerhouse said "phew!" In a response, the fart machine said "phew!" In addition to this, the house -- the whole mansion they were living in -- said "phew!" and lifted off into the air.

Grass (who was flung right onto the ceiling) said, "Hey, who put jets on the bottom of the mansion?" Powerhouse (who had stopped himself with a force shield) said "No man did." Energyman opened a window shield and went flying out to see if he could detect anything. He met with Aroree who had also flown out to investigate. As Electro suddenly jumped out of their secret attic, drifting in the air with a fart, saying, "Ha ha ha ha, I am a dangerous lunatic!"

To this, Grass said "Ugh!", while Electro shot electric bolts at him, only to be surprised that it strengthened Grass up. He shot another electric bolt at Squiggle the robot. Venus jumped in front, and repelled it onto a weather demon who had just popped out of the floor. "Oh shit!!!" said the weather demon. "Thanks, Venus!" said Squiggle. "De nada," replied Venus.

Friendly talked to Grass, saying "Don't worry Grass, I'll get him with this cake!" talking about the cake he had stolen out of the pantry. (He was talking about Electro to hit with the cake.) He continued the sentence by saying, "I hate bad guys!" "Me too," replied Squiggle.
Spider-Man , one of their teammates, suddenly turned into a real spider on a cobweb. "Hey, who turned me into a real spider?" said Spider-Man. "The game, Spider-Man" answered Aroree. A little while after saying to Energyman (Energyman saying the same thing to her), "Do you have any idea what is going on around here?" When they both said "no," it seemed like they were saying no to their own question.


Chapter 3: Continuing the Events

I hope you have had a good time. I hope you aren't having a hard time reading this small type. Now to the story.

(Just a little second of a hold -- maybe a minute, definitely not a second, it's too long for a second. Aroree has to go to the bathroom. Do you have any idea what happens when a superhero goes pee? Please send in your answer.)

My answer was that it goes onto a villain. Now, let's really go back to the story. (Have you ever heard of an acrobat? If you haven't, I'll explain: an acrobat is a person very good at acrobatics.)

I will not explain some of the things which are happening because they aren't silly enough, so I'll just say BING BIX BONG BOOM! WHACK-SMACK-TING-A-LING! At the time we start explaining the things which are happening again, Electro was shooting an electric bolt at Venus while she was facing the other way. Friendly warned her while he was evading little yellow creatures. Venus jumped up into the air, did somersaults over to Electro like an acrobat, and landed on his head. She picked him up and threw him up into the air, where he was drenched by rain made by Aroree. (Note this is shareware version -- continued book 2.)


Part 2: How Spidergod came to be


Chapter 1: Explanation

In this part you'll meet:

Spidergod, the star of this book.
Grass, who you've already met in part one.
Venus, who you've already met in part one.
Spider-Man, who you've already met in part one.


Chapter 2: Spidergod's Appearance

One fine day Grass was thinking to himself, "It's really strange -- every January, but none of the other months, Venus and Spider-Man will go out, and never return until the end of January. Next January, I'm going to trail them and find out what it's about." But then he remembers -- since the end of last January, Venus hasn't come out for more than 36 days.

Another fine day, Spider-Man went into Venus's room, and Grass heard, "It's all right Spider-Man, you can take him out now." Then the door opened (slamming into Grass's face), but nobody came out. Then Spider-Man came swinging out. Then Grass noticed a baby with red skin, wings, and a head which looked exactly like Spider-Man's head. Spider-Man said, "Hello Grass, his name is 'Spidergod.'"

He closed Venus's door, slamming it into Venus's face. Then the door opened, SLAM, into Spider-Man. Spidergod went flying into a baby-changing machine. Then the four of them looked around with bruised noses. Finally Venus said, "Uh, Grass ... would you take Spidergod for a ride to the place I fixed for him?" Grass said, "Uh, all r-r-right." To this, Spidergod said, "aa pa ia wa la ta sa ia," which means "A place? I would like to see it."

Grass flew out with Spidergod on his little finger, holding onto Grass. He flew around and around and around the mansion with Spidergod laughing happily. He stopped abruptly at a door called "Babyland." So abruptly that Spidergod went flying off onto the grass. Grass thought, "I'd better watch him, in case he gets into mischief." By this time Spidergod had solved a very interesting puzzle for him: putting his wits back together.

In fact, Grass was thinking, "I wonder how long it takes for a baby to put its wits back together?" Then Spidergod went flying up over the door with Grass flying over behind him. Then Spidergod came flying back down into the baby room 1. Spidergod picked out three rattles, all exactly alike, and began juggling them by his feet. When he was done, he picked up a rattle, climbed up the gate, made a web-slide and slid down it with Grass flying behind him.

Next they came into a room with a ceiling, with a solid wall in front of them. There was a slot in it, with words above the slot saying "wa ya na oa ta ca aa ia ia" which means "write your name on the card and insert it." By this time a card had slid out of the slot. Spidergod took the card in one hand, and with the other, took out a chunk of the ceiling and shaped it into a pencil. Then he wrote on the card "sa ga," and I think you know what that means.

Then part of the wall slid into the wall. Spidergod went through the opening, and Grass had barely enough time to follow him before the wall clicked shut again. Spidergod saw a sign which said "wa ta fa ia ya wa ta pa ga" which meant "watch the floor if you want to play game," but Grass didn't know that that sign meant that. So he was very surprised when he saw Spidergod walking along looking at the ground.

Then Spidergod saw (on the ground) markings saying "sa sa ga ra ia ia ya wa ta pa aa ga," which meant "say 'Spidergod requests admittance' if you want to play a game." Then Spidergod said, "sa ga ra ia," which you already know what it means from the markings on the floor. Then the wall started opening up. Spidergod went darting through it. Again Grass had a quick call. Then Spidergod made an abrupt stop at a computer. (So abrupt that he fell over. Grass had a hard time not laughing.)


Chapter 3: Bazz

Grass watched curiously as Spidergod typed "baaazaza," which meant "bazz." Then a baby with rabbit ears came bouncing onto the screen. Grass watched, interested, as the baby on the screen fought his way through jingling balls, milk bubbles and other things.

By the time Spidergod was done, Grass was asleep, but he woke up when Spidergod ran back with his THUMP THUMP THUMP. Spidergod went leaping up with Grass following him. Then Spidergod said, " sa ga ra ia." Spidergod went darting up through the opening. Grass followed, again having a close call. Then Spidergod went running ahead, singing "ia ta ka oa ba," which means "I'm the king of babies."

Then Spidergod walked through a door labeled "Cigar room." There were stacks and stacks of cigars, and there was a sign saying "pa aa ca aa ca," which means "pick a cigar, any cigar!" And another sign saying " fa wa ea ca," which meant "floor will extinguish cigars." Spidergod took one of the cigars, smoked it for a very short time, and threw it down at the floor, but it accidentally landed on Grass, where it started a fire on his antenna.

Grass made a little rain and snuffed it out. Grass said, "Don't smoke cigars if you're going to throw them around and start fires on super heroes." At this, Spidergod jumped, and went digging into a pile of cigars. Grass thought, "I'll wait for him to come back. On second thought, I'll follow him."

Grass walked through the tunnel which Spidergod had left until he came out into a room. Spidergod, Grass saw, was drawing mazes on pieces of the ceiling, and throwing the chunks onto cobwebs, and the mazes would appear on the cobwebs. (Note: one of those mazes is on the back. All you have to do is get from S to F.)

Spidergod jumped onto a cobweb, made a hole in it, jumped through the hole, and sealed it up with web.

(Sorry about that long break, but Spidergod was taking a nap. Whew, I think I'll follow his example!)

Spidergod went bursting through the web, went over to the next door, and kicked it open, with Grass following in close pursuit. After which Spidergod dived into a pool of milk, and went swimming down, and went coming up in another pool of milk in the same room. Then they were flying on. Spidergod drifted softly into the arms of a robot Venus, which carried him to the real Venus, who started singing to him a godly song.


Part 3: Grassglider


Chapter 1: Explanation

In this part you'll meet:
Grassglider, the star of this book.
Grass, who you've already met in Part 1.
Aroree, who've you also already met in Part 1.
Energyman, who've you also already met in Part 1.


Chapter 2: Birth

One day Energyman was talking to himself: "It's strange, every October, but none of the other months, Grass and Aroree leave. I think I'll check in on them and see what's going on."

He went to Grass' room and found it empty. Therefore, he presumed that they must be in Aroree's room, considering that they weren't in the dining room, either. He heard some rattling through the keyhole. He knocked.

"Who is it?" called Aroree's familiar voice.

"It's me, Energyman," called Energyman.

"Come in," called Grass.

So, Energyman went in. He found Aroree sitting on the ground with a smile on her face while Grass put toys on the shelf so a new baby could grab them and play with the rattles and toy trucks. If Grass put the toys too high the baby would fly up and grab them. In no less than a minute Energyman found himself playing with the new baby.

"What's his name?" asked Energyman, very unclearly because the baby was jabbing his hand into Energyman's mouth.

"What?" asked Grass. "Oh, he's Grassglider."

"Do any of the others know yet?" asked Energyman.



Chapter 3: Ring Around the Mansion, Pockets Full of Toys

Aroree asked Energyman if he would give Grassglider a tour of the mansion. Energyman answered, "Why not?"

"I don't know," answered Aroree, "I don't know why not."

"Well, then," said the baby, "we're off to see the mansion, if ever a mansion there was!"

Other Neverfailing Nine members looked curiously as the little baby went whizzing after Energy Man. "I love you, baby," sung Energyman, "it's true! Sometimes I'm glad there's not two of you. That would be getting on my nerves and it would be over my reserves."

Grassglider laughed along.

Soon they came to the jungle of the mansion. They drank from streams with elephants, swung through trees with the monkeys, splashed about with the fishes, and almost everything else you could do in a jungle. Then they came to the ending room of the hallway they were walking in, and watched a television about wildlife for one hour. Then they went to the dining room and had a delicious dinner of mashed potatoes, mashed bananas and vegetable beef dinner for Grassglider while Energyman ate a pile of chicken meat, crab meat, steak, and other meats.

Next, after bringing a backpack, they hiked up a nearby hill, had lunch at the top, and then went down again, just before it started to rain. But Grassglider stopped it with his powers of the weather given to him by Grass. Then he did an utmost magic trick and Grassglider and Energyman started to have a snowball fight. When they were done, Grassglider turned it back to summer again. Then they went back to Aroree's room and told of their wondrous tour.

Grass saw that his baby was a fat one because he had been eating all that food.


Part 4: Greel


Chapter 1: Explanation

In this part you'll meet:
Greel, the star of this part.
Grass, who you've already met in Part 3.
Friendly, who you've already met in Part 1.
A bunch of oysters.


Chapter 2: Expedition

One day, Friendly and Grass went exploring. They met a seal who was a friend of Super Shrimp Crawler (who I don't know if you've met before). The seal was able to make farts which would send anyone somersaulting twenty-four times.

Around that time, they met a dragon. The dragon tackled Grass, only to be grabbed by Friendly and thrown onto the ground. Grass sent the dragon reeling with lightning bolts until it was in exactly the right position, and Seal let out a fart. At the twenty-fourth somersault, the dragon had crashed into the claws of Friendly three times. At the twenty-fourth somersault, Seal let out still another fart, and before it was done, he crashed three more times into Friendly. By this time, Grass and Friendly and Seal had decided to leave it alone.

Seal was appointed a member of the Neverfailing Nine (though I don't see why they were called Neverfailing). When Grass and Friendly and Seal got home, they told of what they had done, what they had found, and what they had seen.


Chapter 3: Grand Discoverer

One day, Friendly knocked on Grass' door and he got the answer "Come in."

He found Grass sorting different books. Then he saw Seal playing with a new baby. Grass gave another baby book to the new baby.

"When did you get this baby" asked Friendly, "and why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry, we've been so involved in the baby that we forgot to tell anybody."

"Anyway," says Grass, "I was just about to take Greel for a walk down to the ocean. Meanwhile, I suggest that you inform the rest."

"Yes, I understand. See you soon." said Friendly.

When at last they reached the beach, Greel dived into the water and came up with a shell in his mouth. "I found this oyster, Father," said Greel. "I ate it, but my teeth hit something hard. What is it?"

Greel handed out a shiny white ball from the shell to Grass. "Looks like a pearl, son," said Grass, "Can you spot any more of the same kind?"

"Yes, a whole cavern of them."

"Wait a minute," called Grass, "I'm going to get some bags for these. Stay out of trouble while I'm gone, OK?"

When Grass returned, he saw two piles of pearls, and a fat Greel coming out of the ocean, holding still another pearl. Grass did all he could to fill up the bag, but there were still a lot left. When Grass came back for the second time, not only was there a pile of pearls but also of oyster shells. Grass opened one, and found a fat, juicy oyster and a pearl inside. "I saved this for you, Father," announced Greel, "because I'm full."

After a little while of collecting the pearls, Greel was sweating and suggested something to eat. "You're lucky, son," said Grass, "look at that washed up crab. It ought to make a good dinner."

"No, thank you," said Greel, "I'd rather have a bucket of fish for a stew."

"That's OK, Friendly would like it, too," replied Grass.

Greel's stomach groaned.

* * *

"This stew is delicious," said Friendly, licking his lips, "Where did you ever find the fish?"

"Down at the ocean," replied Grass.

"What's for dessert?" asked Friendly.

"Nice oysters and ice cream," Greel replied.


* To be continued in book 2 *


Copyright © 1995 Samuel Dashiell Shemitz
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