What if pirates were good, and the rest were bad?

"ALL ABOARD! SWAB THE DECKS! HOIST THE SAILS!" roared the red-bearded Captain Redbeard, in his raving, reckless tone. "Cast off!"

"You've got it!" said Sir Nasty, Sir Love-To-Kill and Sir Bow-and-Arrow.

"But Redbeard," stammered Peggy, "how can we fight that wizard's magic? Or those tons and tons of knights?"

"Pah! Stop worrying," announced Nancy, "our captain will find some way to do it, and ...."

"And what?" inquired first-mate Smiley.

"And there's a violent storm coming!" shouted Captain Redbeard, "Go below! I'll have cook-Cathy fix you up a steaming-hot meal."

"I'd like some pancakes, please." said second-mate Frowny to Cathy.

"Me too." said Smiley.

"Me three!" said Nancy.

"I'd like some of those delicious cookies." said Peggy.

"And we'd like a nice warm vegetable stew." said the others.

"One at a time, please!" said Cathy. "Well, so you want some pancakes? You want golden delicious, I presume?"

"Yes!" all three of them cried.

"So you guys want a vegetable stew?" asked Cathy. "If so, beans, broccoli or both?"

"What kind of thing to eat is a 'both'?" asked Silly.

"'Both' means 'two things,' Silly," said Smarty.

"Anybody could have told him that, Smarty-pants!" said Frowny.

"Don't talk to me like that, Frowny!" said Smarty, "My pants aren't smart -- my mind is!"

"Quiet down please!" said Cathy. "So do you guys want some gingerbread pirates?"

"Hey," said Silly, "don't forget us -- we want broccoli but no beans."

"Oh yes! So do you guys want gingerbread pirates?"

"Correct!" came the reply.

After a lot of mixing, beating and measuring, a violent jolt of a wave sent the milk jug flying onto Too-Tall's head. Too-Short went to assist him, but a violent jolt sent Too-Short flying into the oven. A pirate gaped and some pancake batter flew into his mouth. Cathy -- after another jolt -- went flying into a button and accidentally activated the oven. Too-Short came out sweating, and Captain Redbeard after hearing the news decided to make a trip to the North Pole.

"Some storm!" said Cathy, after everything had gotten into order. Then Cathy started her mixing, beating and measuring all over again.

After a while Too-Tall (who was now on the lookout post) cried out loudly, "Land ho!" Everybody crowded up onto the deck, nearly trampling Too-Short. "It's the North Pole!" cried everybody at once, and all the noise made Too-Tall fall down in the lookout post. But this accidental duck proved handy, for over his head whizzed a snowball!

"Somebody's ashore!" cried Redbeard. "Can't tell what it is yet -- Cathy, hand me those binoculars!" After taking a good long look through the binoculars, Captain Redbeard turned to his crew very startled. "It's ..." he stammered, "it's ... Frosty the Snowman."

Mr. Accordion, Mr. Piano and Mr. Banjo immediately started reciting:

"Frosty the snowman, is a fairy-tale they say.
He was made of snow, but the children know, how he came to life one day.
It must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found,
For when they placed it on his head he began to dance around."

"I hope there's some pizza to go," said Frowny, "in that deep, deep snow."

The End


Copyright © 1995 Samuel Dashiell Shemitz
Written 12/4/95
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