Here you see my two dice bracelets — one made of transparent jewel-tone glass dice and the other with black, white, and red plastic dice — being modeled on my cat Balor’s black fur (click the picture for a larger version where you can see more Balor as well).

I got them at my local Longs Drug Store back when they used to have lots of cheap random stretchy bracelets, and before they were consumed by CVS — if you’re looking for some yourself you can find lots of dice bracelets on eBay.

They represent some things that are important to me, which I’ll describe below, but I also want to be a bit of a purist here and say that although these dice beads make for pretty bracelets they would do seriously bad jobs as actual dice! Having holes drilled through them makes them into unevenly-weighted “loaded dice”, the not-perfect-cubes nature of the glass ones is compounded by the pips being lampwork-style external bumps rather than indentations, and with the plastic ones the opposite sides don’t even add up to seven the way real dice do — I mean, if you’re going to make fake dice for jewelry, why would you not even bother to get the numbering correct?

The game of life

We have a huge number of board and card games, and they definitely were a big part of my children Sam and Arthur learning and getting comfortable with reading, math, taking turns, graciously winning, losing, and cooperating; thinking strategically and many levels ahead, socializing, being either a learner or a teacher, problem solving, improving skills with practice, negotiating, making up new rules, storytelling, exploring interests and subjects particular games were based around, manipulating objects, appreciating good design or critiquing bad design, the list goes on and on, and yes, many of them use dice, and yes, we still play them today together and with friends, even though Sam and Arthur are now 24 and 18.

AFE Games Group

For many years I’ve hosted the weekly Alternative Family Education (AFE) Games Group. I’m going to say a lot more about it further down the page, but for starters, here’s the blurb I run in the monthly AFE Newsletter:

Come over to Classroom 2 every Friday from noon to three (or whatever part of those three hours work for you) for good times with friends old and new, and AFE’s very large collection of award-winning and classic games for all ages! Bring your own games and/or snacks to share as well! The youngest among us can often be found sitting in the middle of the room playing with Lego or blocks, or outside playing tag, in addition to the games, and parents can usually be found socializing, knitting, etc. while playing games, so truly something for everyone! There is also a group of young artists who like to come and sketch and show each other their artwork in addition to playing games.

This yearbook page will give you an idea of what Games Group looks like during the school year (as usual, you can click it to see a larger version):

Summer Games Group

When the school year is over, then Games Group moves to our house for the summer. Once again, I’ll say more further down the page, but here’s an example of the notice I send out about it as the school year is ending:

Starting this Friday, June 14, drop by anytime from noon or so on, for fun and games and cookies and all that sort of thing at Summer Games Group! We have well over 150 games for all ages and interests, and you’re certainly invited to bring any favorite games and/or treats*/beverages of your own that you’d like to share.

Both kids and parents are definitely welcome and looked forward to — in previous summers there has been a real mania for parents to play Bananagrams and other games on the deck, in addition to things like just hanging out with friends or lying in the sun with a cold drink. :-)

Here are some Summer Games Group photos so you can see some of the kinds of things that go on here (plus see the kids go backwards in age :-)): http://www.flickr.com/photos/tachyon/sets/72157628237077641/

*From personal experience I will say that it’s a great opportunity both for showing off your favorite recipes and for trying out new recipes on a very appreciative audience. :-)

Another utopia!

In a previous entry I had written about Queer Contra Dance Camp being one of the utopias in my life, and AFE/Summer Games Group is definitely another. Specifically, an anti-bullying, community-building utopia, with a really wide range of things to do and learn, where kids of all ages (and parents, and sometimes even grandparents) can come every week to have fun and make friends, and be welcomed, appreciated, and treated with respect.

Parents get to know other parents and their children’s friends, and kids get to know their friends’ parents (my son Arthur will be starting college later this month, and a regret he mentioned is that making friends will no longer automatically mean making friends with the friends’ parents as well).

It’s great to meet and hang out with everyone, and both from the things I see myself and the thanks I get from kids and parents I know that Games Group is doing a lot of good, and has made a big difference in a lot of people’s lives. In my “The game of life” section above I mentioned some of the things kids can learn from games, but a big part of it is just being able to get a lot of people together in a safe, supportive environment where people will be happy to see them.

You see so many articles these days about kids not having enough unstructured time, and Games Group really demonstrates the value of unstructured time for, again, making friends, getting to know each other better, showing each other things you’re interested in, talking about what’s going on with you, finding out about and trying new things, making plans, collaborating on projects, and so on.

Maybe one Friday you spend the whole three hours playing a complicated strategy board game, and the next Friday you and some others are really into working on an elaborate mural spanning three large whiteboards. Some Fridays a lot of kids will be out in the courtyard for games like ping-pong, badminton, volleyball, basketball, and ninja; and other Fridays there are big crazes for Magic: The Gathering or sitting inside a cupboard (!) playing Minecraft. One thing that pretty much always happens is that some people will go out in the courtyard to sit around a table and talk — teens in particular are going through so many big changes, and getting so busy, that it’s really important to still have some unhurried time when you can just sit and talk.

Games Group attracts so many people that others have been able to build on it by adding even more cool Friday-afternoon activities/ opportunities: Jam sessions/lessons, outdoor games, hair-cutting, fingernail-painting, and bake sales in the courtyard; art workshops and “cupcake club” in another classroom, and as of the 2012/2013 school year there is now a multi-school Rainbow Alliance (LGBTQ students and friends) meeting every week immediately following Games Group.

There was a “Snack Time Never Ends “ article in the New York Times a while back complaining about snacks having become almost “mandatory and constant” at kids’ events these days, but as far as Games Group goes I think it’s actually very important to have them: Sharing food has been an important part of gatherings throughout history and across cultures, and I think it makes people feel both more appreciated and more bonded with each other to feed one another and be fed in return.

Kids and parents make a very appreciative audience for new recipes you want to try, old favorites you want to show off, extra produce from your garden, or just some interesting thing you picked up in the store on the way there. Also, sometimes kids come to Games Group basically right after jumping out of bed or getting back from a trip or slumber party, and haven’t eaten anything yet, so it’s good for them to know there will be food. For that matter, sometimes even teachers step in to grab a bite when they’ve been too tied up in meetings to get any lunch.

I think the weekly nature is also very important, because kids can be so busy with classes, events, trips, performances, etc. — no matter what you’re up to, if you’re around any Friday at all, you can still spend time with your Games Group friends and not worry about missing it the way you would with a one-shot or less- frequent event.

At a PFLAG meeting last year I heard local civil rights leader/ activist Reverend Deborah Johnson bemoan the fact that there are so few places for teens to be supported in hanging out together in a positive way, where they can feel accepted for who they are by both other teens and adults — yet another thing that got me feeling fired up about my volunteer work with Games Group. :-)

Like all utopias, AFE Games Group is not to everyone’s tastes — someone who prefers a very small quiet gathering may think it’s gotten way too successful for its own good — but I think every child and parent (or parent/child-friendly person) should have access to something like this.

Dungeons & Dragons dice bracelets?

On one hand, I’d love to get or make a Dungeons & Dragons dice bracelet as well — all those beautiful gemlike Platonic solids! Though on the other hand, as I have never actually played Dungeons & Dragons, some people might question the appropriateness of this. But on the prehensile-tail or robotic-arm hand, as I’ve been the parent sponsor/supervisor at a bunch of the on and off-campus meetings of my son Arthur’s D&D groups, I’d say I could proudly wear it in solidarity and support.

updated October 6, 2013

I got this beautiful bracelet (OK, scrunchie, in a deep rich red with metallic-gold musical notes on a black staff) at the West Coast Queer Contra Dance Camp, where it serves double-duty as an armband — I’ll explain about that a little further down the page.

It was made by Mary of Yellow Cat Bags, and I’m modeling it here while petting my black cat Balor and with the Fender gauntlet watch I usually wear it with — click the picture to see more of both Balor and the watch.

If you’re not familiar with contra dancing, well, to quote from the San Francisco Bay Queer Contra Dance “About” page:

Contra dance is a centuries-old New England folk dance tradition. It’s the rowdy red-headed stepchild of English country dance (the kind of dancing you see in Jane Austen movies). Contra dancing is done to live old-timey music in a variety of styles, from lilting Celtic-inspired tunes to rollicking bluegrass. All dances are taught by a caller, who “calls out” instructions throughout the dance.

Queer contra dance takes the traditional division of the dance into “gentlemen” and “ladies” and gives it a queer twist. Instead of gender roles, dancers choose whether or not to wear an armband, which determines their role. (If you’re curious, the “armband” role corresponds to the traditional gentleman’s or leader’s role, but there’s not much difference between the two roles.) The caller uses the term “armbands” or “bands” to refer to the dancers wearing armbands, and “barearms” or “bares” (no, not bears) to indicate those without armbands.

The video below was taken at the first West Coast Queer Contra Dance Camp in April of 2008, and you can both hear the caller’s instructions to both the “bands” and “bares” and see the bands’ red armbands.

The thing about the bands is that they’re just a basket of very basic red-garter elastic things that are kind of ratty due to lots of use, so when I was at the first camp and looking over the bags and other handmade goods at Mary’s Yellow Cat Bags table (she has some kind of association with one of the musicians or callers), I just loved this red scrunchie and bought it to use as my personal band. So I wear it around camp (and elsewhere) as an elegant-looking bracelet with my gauntlet watch, and then when it’s time to dance I push it up over my left T-shirt sleeve if I’m going to dance as a band, or under the sleeve if I’m going to dance as a bare.

I’m not in the above video even though I’ve been to all four West Coast Queer Contra Dance Camps so far — probably at the time I was either in the other hall for a workshop or sitting down cooling off from the previous dance — but I am in the 2010 camp video below. In this video you don’t hear any calls to bares or bands, because it was filmed late enough during that particular dance that the dancers had learned the steps well enough not to need to keep hearing them any more.

I want to say that of the various utopias I find myself in now and then, the West Coast Queer Contra Dance Camp definitely ranks high on the list. For me it’s just a city bus ride away to the beautiful Monte Toyon camp and conference center in a coastal redwood forest, full of friendly and fascinating people who — if you dance both band and bare — by the end of the weekend you’ll have been rapidly twirling in each other’s arms (“swing your partner!”) with every single one of them.

Even if you’ve never done contra dancing before, both the camp and contra dancing in general are super beginner-friendly, with walk-throughs and instruction at the beginning of each dance. In addition to lots of contra dancing to incredible live bands, you’ve got workshops in things like international folk dance, waltzes, singing, English Country Dancing, and playing keyboard for contra dancing.

You’ve got your own cooking staff making all you can eat of wonderful things like stacks of pancakes covered in hot peaches, sandwiches made with slices of just-baked bread still warm from the oven, ice cream sundaes, Chinese food with tofu and vegetables, and even big trays of homemade cookies hot out of the oven.

In addition to a Saturday-night fancy/outrageous-dress dance party there’s also a Saturday-afternoon tea dance with wonderful refreshments like watercress sandwiches and scones with lemon curd, and usually some giant birthday cakes as well.

The camp is welcoming and inclusive to everyone, including having gender-neutral bathrooms with “Trans 101″ posters inside each stall.

If you’re 100% not a dance person then Queer Contra Dance Camp may not be one of your utopias, but it’s definitely a utopia. I miss it when I’m not there, I wish life during the rest of the year had more in common with it, and it’s nice to have this bright red reminder/souvenir/etc. of it to wear on my wrist.

updated October 24, 2011

This “I Read Banned Books” bracelet was designed by Carolyn Forsman for the American Library Association Office of Intellectual Freedom, and in addition to the “I Read Banned Books” panel/charm features very shiny and pleasantly-smooth-to-the-touch reproductions of familiar covers of these seven frequently banned and challenged books: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Annie on my Mind, The Color Purple, Go Ask Alice, Howl, Huckleberry Finn, and To Kill a Mockingbird.

I got it at the notable independent bookstore Kepler’s Books when we were there to see John Green (one of my son Arthur’s favorite authors, as well as yet another author whose books have been banned and challenged) reading from his book Paper Towns.

Kepler’s doesn’t sell the bracelet on their web site, but you can buy it on many other sites including Carolyn Forsman’s — she also makes a necklace version of it. There’s also a children’s-titles version — featuring The Adventures of Captain Underpants, Annie on My Mind, Athletic Shorts, Blubber, In the Night Kitchen, King & King, and To Kill A Mockingbird — available in both child and adult wrist sizes.

As with my Harry Potter Hogwarts House wristbands from the Deathly Hallows book release, I wear this bracelet to library, book, bookstore, and other literary events, plus for Banned Books Week.

The bracelet picture at the top of this blog entry features a little Hermione statue I had gotten many years ago (and painted her hair purple to match my own), sitting in the sunlight on a fancy mirror I use as a serving tray for bread. As shown here I also used her to make a “Books not Bombs” image that I use as my user/profile icon/picture on some social-networking web sites. And if you’ve read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows you know that Hermione does read banned books — Harry and friends wouldn’t have been able to defeat Voldemort if Hermione hadn’t “borrowed” and read the Horcrux books Dumbledore had removed from the library and stored in his office.

updated July 12, 2011